Pondering Modern Marriage

We had news from KISAs sister D who lives in far away wintery climes this weekend. Apart from bemoaning that their area is the only part of the island sans snow, she told of some good friends of hers who are facing divorce and how sad she feels that the couple concerned don't seem to care that much. She said that " Sometimes when people haven't experienced real loss and upset they have nothing to compare to when times, as they think, get tough. All me me me and not seeing the whole picture. Sad. Sad.". This really resonated with me. She is absolutely right.

We live very insulated lives today. Insulated from hardship, insulated from loss. In our great grandparents time, before antibiotics, even before they met and married, our great grandparents had a high chance of having experienced first hand the loss of a parent, either through childbirth, or an industrial accident, or a grandparent from something as simple as a toothache. Chances were high they had lost a sibling to any number of fatal childhood diseases. They worked hard and lived in much harsher times.

We live comparatively luxurious lifestyles now, more on a par with that of the royals of their time. We have more leisure time and don't work nearly as hard.
Are we better off? Are we happier? I imagine that there were plenty of unhappy marriages back then too. However, our great grandparents were not bombarded with constant unrealistic media images exhorting men to be successful and wealthy, strong and masculine, yet soft and sensitive, keeping a physique like Brad Pitt and not losing any hair. Great grandpa did not feel cheated that great grandma did not hold down a successful career, while keeping an immaculate, tastefully decorated house and raising three or four well mannered academically successful children who excell at music and sport, all the time retaining the youthful face and figure of her twenties. Our great grandparents were realistic. After twenty years or so of marriage they counted themselves lucky to not be widowed, grateful for the children that survived childhood and happy if they were healthy and had food to put on the table.

These days we focus on what we don't have instead on what we do. There are plenty of messages out there reminding us of what we don't have. It is up to us to remind ourselves of what we do have. And when you look at it closely and in comparison to our fellow world citizens we have plenty to be grateful for. We just need to consciously think them every day. And be thankful.

Today I am grateful for:
My husband, we make a good team on this ship called life
Our boys, both strong healthy young men with long happy lives ahead (God willing)
Loving family and friends with which we abound
Our relatively new roof and the cyclone bolts that hold it down in this wild weather we have been having last week, it is keeping us safe and dry
KISAs secure job in this unstable economic time.
What are you grateful for this day?